How to settle a newborn: 5 proven techniques for getting your little one to sleep
Having a newborn is the most amazing feeling in the world. You’ve created your own beautiful little human, and your heart is full as you gaze into their eyes.
But no matter how besotted you are, if your overtired newborn refuses to settle or sleep no matter what you try, adoration can quickly turn to tears, frustration and even resentment.
You’ve checked they’re not in pain. You’re taken off layers or added them to make sure they’re not too hot or cold. You’ve tried feeding, changing, rocking, singing – all the things people recommend – but they’re still fighting it.
But don’t despair! Let me introduce you to the five S’s or ‘happiest baby method’ of how to settle a newborn. These techniques have definitely worked for me and many of my sleep-deprived clients.
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The 5 S’s and the ‘happiest baby’ method
The five S’s were introduced by Dr Harvey Karp, a well-known American paediatrician and author of best-seller ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’.
His method includes five simple steps designed to soothe crying or fussy infants and get them to sleep. They work by imitating the womb environment and turning on your newborn’s calming reflex.
The five S’s of how to settle a newborn are:
Swaddling
Side/stomach position
Shushing
Swinging
Sucking
Essentially, Dr Karp believes that babies cry because they’re born too soon.
As newborns are neurologically immature, they simply don’t have the capacity to self-regulate and calm themselves. Dr Karp, therefore, suggests that you need to navigate the fourth trimester by mimicking the womb and its sensations. This helps settle them and send them off into blissful slumber.
Karp likens the five S’s of how to settle a newborn to an ancient cake recipe.
“When baking a cake, having a list of ingredients is of no help unless you also have precise instructions of how much of each ingredient to add, how to grease the pan, what temperature to set the oven and so forth”.
If you do each step correctly, you’ll get the ‘perfect cake’. However, if you skip steps or are doing them incorrectly, your cake will flop.
The first two layers of the cake start the calming process by restricting flailing and activating the calming reflex. The third and fourth layers relax your baby and break the crying cycle by fully triggering the calming reflex.
The fifth and most wonderful layer is the icing on the cake – sucking. Sucking keeps your newborn’s calming reflex turned on, guiding your little one into a deep, tranquil sleep.
Let’s dive into each layer – or ways to settle a newborn – in more detail.
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The five S’s: #1 – Swaddling
You’ve no doubt heard of swaddling and seen the swaddle suits and blankets in the shops. It basically means wrapping your baby in tight garments or cloth.
Admittedly, it does look a bit like putting your baby in a tiny straight jacket, but newborns love it. The reason for this is that swaddling mimics the continuous touch and snug cuddling they felt in the womb.
Skin on skin contact is also great for soothing babies, but swaddling can work wonders for even the fussiest bubs when that doesn't calm your newborn.
Wrapping or swaddling stops them from twitching and flailing (Moro reflex). This starts the calming reflex in preparation for the next four S’s. It also helps their startle reflex from waking them up shortly after going to sleep. A swaddled baby responds much faster to the other S’s and enjoys longer stretches of sleep.
There are many different swaddles available. I recommend zip-up swaddle bags like an Ergo Pouch, Miracle Blanket, Mum2Mum Dreamswaddle or a flat wrap.
If you’re using a flat wrap, ensure the wrap is firm around your baby’s torso (arms are snug and straight at your baby’s sides) and loose around the hips to allow hip movement and knees to open and close.
Loose swaddling is hazardous as there’s a risk of the swaddle coming up over your baby’s face.
Not all babies love to be swaddled, and not all mums like the idea of it. However, when left unwrapped, a newborn’s arms thrash about, making them even more upset, so I recommend persisting.
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The five S’s: #2 – Side/stomach position
The side-stomach position is what us baby experts like to call the ‘feel good’ position – and your newborn will no doubt agree!
Placing newborns on their backs can be unsettling. It sets off their Moro reflex, giving them a feeling of insecurity/falling. Rolling your baby onto their side or stomach in their cot, on the other hand, can be very soothing, switching off the Moro reflex and triggering their calming reflex.
But, while it’s a great way to settle a newborn on their side or stomach, it’s important that you never leave your baby unsupervised on their side. Once you’ve settled your newborn, gently roll them onto their back for sleep.
Patting their lower back and shushing at the same time will help your little one drift off for some much-needed shut-eye.
The five S’s: #3 – Shushing
When they’re in the womb, babies are exposed to loud noises 24/7. From the whooshing of blood running through the placenta and uterus to noises such as vacuum cleaners, hairdryers and fans, it’s anything but quiet!
Because of this, trying to get a newborn to settle when everything is quiet can feel quite unnerving for them. This is where shushing comes in – it’s a great way to recreate the acoustics of the womb.
By making a soft, drawn-out ‘shhh’ sound a few inches from your newborn’s ear, you activate their calming reflex, breaking the crying cycle.
Make sure you raise the volume of your shushing to match the level of crying. The shushing needs to be louder than their cry to be effective. Once your baby is calm, bring the volume back down.
White noise is equally effective for calming a newborn. While you should never leave a white noise/shusher going at high volume all the time, you can use it loudly initially to soothe an upset baby, reducing the volume once your little one is calm.
High pitch sounds help calm, while low rumbly sounds promote sleep.
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The five S’s: #4 – Swinging
Swinging your newborn is a top baby calming tip. My twins loved it; one in particular. I often had her in the front pack jigging around while doing other things.
While lying on a flat motionless bed sounds appealing to us adults, many babies hate it. For some, motion is the only thing that soothes them.
Swinging, aka rhythmic movement and jiggling, mimics the continuous movement inside the womb as mum sits, stands and walks, making it a powerful soothing tool that also triggers the calming reflex.
Surprisingly, quick, tiny jiggles calm newborns much better than slow, broad swinging. A slow swing just doesn’t turn on the calming reflex in the same way.
But while quick jiggles are recommended, be gentle and make sure you support your newborn’s head and neck, which are still weak and developing.
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The five S’s: #5 – Sucking
Sucking is the most natural S of all and is definitely the icing on the cake. But it works best after your newborn has been soothed by the other four S’s.
This wonderful fifth S can satisfy hunger and turn on the calming reflex. In fact, not only does sucking stimulate the calming reflex, but it also keeps it on, guiding your newborn into a deep tranquil sleep.
As well as using breast or bottle to trigger the calming reflex and settle your newborn, a dummy can do the same, making it helpful in soothing a fretful newborn.
In the womb, it’s easy for babies to suck their fingers as the soft walls bounce their hands back towards their mouth. Once Earthside, however, they have a lot less control over their hands and rely on help to suck. This is where a dummy comes in handy. Plus, dummy use has also been associated with lowering SUDI risk.
However, nutritive sucking (feeding) should never be replaced with non-nutritive sucking (pacifier/dummy). If you suspect your baby is hungry, feed them and offer the pacifier only if they’re still unsettled after a full feed.
If you’re having trouble nursing, I recommend contacting a lactation consultant to rule out any latch issues. If using a dummy, try to calm first and then offer the dummy. Try different brands to get the right feel for your little one.
And there you have it – the perfect recipe for a happy, sleepy baby!
Adjusting the five S’s to your baby
While these five S’s are the best way to settle a newborn, it’s important to understand that baby soothing is a skill that must be learned.
Mastering the 5 S’s is like learning to ride a bike. It doesn’t come naturally at first, and you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, but it becomes second nature once you get into the swing of it.
Knowing each S alone may not be enough to calm your fussy newborn. Plus, many babies need more than two S’s to settle. Each baby has their own preferences, which means your newborn will, too. You’ll soon discover the mix and intensity of the 5 S’s that suits your little one best.
Practice makes for sleepy babies
Having a fussy baby who won’t settle is tough. It can make you feel totally helpless, as well as mentally and physically exhausted, and question your parenting abilities.
But by following these techniques, you’ll feel much more confident in what you’re doing, and your newborn (and nerves!) will begin to settle.
The more you repeat the five S’s, the more your little one will increasingly recognise what you’re doing, anticipate what’s going to happen and allow themselves the rest they need.
If you would like a one-on-one chat about navigating the newborn months, including settling your baby to sleep, book a free 15-minute consultation today.